How the Chicken Got Its Lips


A long time ago (if you follow this story you can collect enough information to do the math) there was an article in the Toronto Sun newspaper saying that the government of the day was going to outlaw the practice of allowing bars to employ topless waitresses.

One of the readers of this item was not particularly interested in such things but he had a disturbing vision. In the vision it was many years later. A small wide eyed child climbed on his knee and said "Grandpa, what was it like to be served by a topless waitress?". The thought of having to answer "I don't know." to this wonderful child was too much for our hero to bear so he enlisted two friends and set off one Saturday afternoon to gain the experience necessary to be able to pass on this valuable information to future generations.

Not certain where to find such establishments the brave little band decided to start near the southern end of Yonge Street and walk north stopping in each bar in turn. The first stop was at the Colonial Tavern. Success! A topless waitress and ... over priced, warm beer. Fifteen minutes later, mission accomplished but still thirsty the trio decided to continue the trip but to look for more reasonably priced beverages. Eventually they ended up at the Gasworks, a friendly establishment with fully clothed staff, on Yonge St. a block north of Wellesley. They enjoyed cold draft at 25 cents a glass (there's a dating clue!), played pinball and discovered shwarma. What a way to spend a Saturday afternoon!

It was decided that this practice should be an annual event and also that it should have started many years before. The first event was named 1900 and in order to catch up future events were to be held monthly. All events would start at the Gasworks and continue on elsewhere if it seemed like a good idea. For a while there were monthly get togethers but this proved to be too frequent and the interval between was changed to 6 weeks. As these annual events were occurring many times each year it was clear that the laws of relativity must come into play. (Well, as clear as things get to 3 guys who have been drinking beer for a couple of hours.) Thus the events became known as the Einstein Memorial Commemorative Classics (EMCC, get it?). At the time this page was created the most recent event had been held March 29, 1997 and was 2054!

The number of attendees varies from an all time low of 1 to a record high of 38. The Gasworks is no more, beer has not been 25 cents a glass for a very long time, no one has seen a topless waitress since the very first one and many of the classic pinball machines have disappeared but EMCC continues. The current starting point is the Imperial PUBlic Library 58 Dundas St E. The Library is on the second floor of the Imperial Tavern. Folks start arriving at 1pm and will not move to another venue until at least 3pm. Sometimes the second floor is not open in which case folks meet in the ground floor bar. For the most part the attendees are in some way interested in computers and conversations tend to have a geek flavour to them. Should you like to attend just show up and introduce yourself. Stay for a minute or hang in for the duration. Events have been as short as 2 hours and there have been rumours of some folks having breakfast together the next day.


EMCC Google Calendar

The next few events

2220 April 30, 2016
2221 June 11, 2016
2222 July 23, 2016
2223 September 3, 2016
2224 October 15, 2016
2225 November 26, 2016
2226 January 7, 2017
2227 February 18, 2017
2228 April 1, 2017
2229 May 13, 2017
2230 June 24, 2017

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