Anonymous Tribute + Guru Biz Insight

About a year ago I happened to have found your Guru Ratings page, and it was really helpful for me. Thank you for putting up your great site, it can definitely save a lot of people from wasting a lot of energy!
 
Before I found your site, I was searching for a living master, a human being pumping out loving vibrations (phi) from his heart, which I wanted my heart to resonate with. I wanted to stop thinking about everything, so that I could start loving everything. I already understood that if I found such a living master, I was simply going to sit near him and allow all ideas to be forgotten, to allow the mental ego to cease to exist, so that my heart would feel the loving vibrations which the living master silently pumps out from his heart, and my heart would begin resonating with these vibrations, and soon my heart would be pumping out these loving vibrations by itself, naturally. Finally, I would lovingly thank the guru and walk away, since at that point I would be a living master too.
 
That was my big mental ideal. That was my trip. But then I began to read about all the masters on your site. Then, I realized every guru is just another Selfish Human Being. :) This fact is not bad, not at all, it's simply true: every living being in this universe does what it thinks is best for itself.
 
That's when I became Self-Realized, which means I Realized... I am Me!  This Body is Number One!  I am Selfish!  Yayyyy!
 
Now, if you are still here, I will let you in on a little secret Sarlo...
 
Ramana knew it, Osho knew it, even Neem Karoli Baba knew it...
 
This is the secret which all real Gurus understand and practice:
 
The GOAL is to enjoy sitting around and eating free food without doing any work. :)
 
To achieve the GOAL you give Deep Answers to busybodies, and they will support your Laziness. ( ! )
 
Wow. Well Sarlo, I have shared this secret with you, without asking for anything in return. You may very well be the last person to ever receive such totally True free advice from Me. :)
 
Anyway, as soon as it gets a little warmer outside, I am going to begin sitting in the park on a carpet, to achieve the goal, here in Tokyo. When busybodies come to watch me manifesting Laziness, I may resort to giving out Deep Answers occasionally, but I'm going to see if maybe the goal can be achieved using total silence. Even more Silence than Ramana used. We'll see. One thing is for sure, I definitely will be wearing earplugs.