sho called me to meet with Him the day after I returned to Poona in June 1989. I was ushered into the room next to His bedroom where He used to eat breakfast and lunch. I still remember that His presence was very luminous; He was fragile and delicate and yet alive and strong.He said to me: they have destroyed my dream. He was referring to the American government which had arrested Him and destroyed the ranch in 1985. He said: they have given me poison, and I had to ask sannyasins to drop wearing red and the mala because they were being harassed.
He had called me to help work in His university in Poona in 1979; I had also been with Him on the ranch, where He had explained His whole vision of education to me. As dean, professor, and student I had worked in several American universities.
Now in Poona again He told me that my work would be to bring His message to people, to work with the press and the internet. He said: this is now your home; this is now your family; this is now your work.
He asked Anando to give me one of His beautiful watches. And the next day I was told that I was now a new member of the Inner Circle. I knew that the Inner Circle was basically there to carry on the international work. I was told that I should just come and see for myself how it functioned.
I remember that some time before He left the body Osho sent us a message that He was very happy with our work and our process in making decisions. After He left the body Amrito announced that He had instructed us to reach unanimous decisions about the continued functioning and expansion of the commune and His work.
As far as we are concerned we have remained true to His vision, to the understanding that He has given. He has said many times: keep me 24-karat gold; don’t compromise with my vision; don’t dilute it. And He has also said: I am not a commodity; I am not for sale, so don’t try to sell me, don’t make a business out of me. I am giving something which is very precious right now. People will take time to understand it but that is OK. But just because you want to make me available, don’t dilute me.
So for us the challenge is to encourage the creativity and enthusiasm of sannyasins without compromising Osho’s vision. For example, someone in an Osho centre may want to do different kinds of meditations. We have to make sure that we remain true to the meditations that Osho has designed.
We try to look at every issue in a very objective way, without being judgmental, so that a shared understanding can be created. People get to see the issue in such a way that it becomes constructively and positively helpful to everyone’s growth.
Let me describe how this has worked for myself. I need to make sure that I should not bring my mind or my interpretation in just to justify my ways or my inability to see the picture that He is giving. I could be missing something. So instead of bringing my mind in I would rather make sure that my awareness remains with the vision. For example, if an issue is there, I have my way of seeing it – as an individual, based on my conditioning, my background, whatever I am carrying. Obviously that may not necessarily go along with Osho’s vision because His vision and His insight are totally different. At that point my awareness needs to pose the question: do I want to bring in what I see, or do I want to see what He’s trying to show? That’s where the challenge is: to be able to have that kind of courage, that kind of readiness to see what He’s trying to show rather than to see what I want to see.
Each one of us approaches the challenge in the context of the work, in the context of the vision that He has given and in the context of our own personal conditionings or weaknesses or drawbacks or blind spots. So it is in a way a very evolutionary process for our growth. We are able to help each other to see the vision in its totality and its clarity.
I feel blessed to be able to see this way. Otherwise I would have missed it. Osho’s presence continues to give me support, care, insight, energy – whatever you may care to call it. I feel that very intensely. And so I enjoy what I am doing. I am having really fun.
