Neeraj

 1. I went to India in 1977 because I was in love; out of my mind, inexplicably drawn to Osho, that's all; not a seeker of truth, just in love. My first in-the-flesh encounter with Osho was at a Hindi discourse. I sat sari-veiled as tears streamed down, waterfalls of connection to the source reached in Osho's presence. I had planned to collect lots of useful therapy techniques and be back home in three months; I stayed for almost three years.

2. When I returned to the West I lost what is called in Buddhism “beginner’s mind” (knowing that you don’t know); and this is the re-entry to identifying with the pot instead of the ocean, isn’t it? It is all so subtle; when in spiritual ego you don’t realize that that’s where you are. I had an attitude that “Now there is knowing.” From this place of spiritual arrogance I expected life to be easier; paradoxically it became more difficult. When I became pregnant the cloud did lift; and then I found myself expecting a cosmic orgasm birthing experience and joyful effortless mothering. After 48 hours of labour and a Caesarian section, I saw in my heart’s eye that expectations bring frustrations; and Osho whispered loudly in my ear: “LIFE IS NOT HERE TO MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS; don’t you get it?!”

(excerpted from Neeraj's article in Osho Pulse)

Ma Prem Neeraj, Canadian