Kamal

    I fell in love with Osho when he left the body. I arrived in Poona five days before he left his body and I saw him in Buddha Hall three times. He was very graceful, very beautiful, very fragile, like a leaf in the wind. But I didn't feel to take sannyas at that time.
    On January 19, 1990 I was not in Buddha Hall. I was at home, sick. I heard that Osho had left the body, so I ran to the ashram. They were bringing his body out when I got there. Everybody was going to the Burning Ghats. I followed people in the street and slowly slowly I went back home.
    That night I decided to take sannyas. It was just an energy that I felt. I felt all this love, all this peace, this silence. And in the morning I went to the Burning Ghats to see the ashes. Sannyas Celebration was happening that day. I went to the office and begged to take sannyas but they said no, you have to wait a week. I cried, I was so disappointed.
    All that week I was waiting for sannyas, I went to White Robe every night, just sitting there meditating in the presence of so many people. And somehow I had the feeling that Osho was dissolved in everybody there. It's difficult to describe but I could feel it in my cells somehow, in my body – he really touched me deeply. I saw all these people laughing and crying and all this energy in the ashram. My skin was just shivering. All this love between people – I never saw that before.

(excerpted from Kamal's article in Osho Pulse)

Ma Anand Kamal, Canadian